Today was a beautiful day. We went to church and reflected on the fact that Jesus loves us all THAT much. It's mind boggling. During singing I saw the cutest couple holding hands. They were probably in their 80's. They made me smile. I went and told them that they were the cutest couple at church. I think the husband may have blushed. They were darling and I wish that I could have sat and chatted with them. I bet they have a ton of wisdom to share. I'm going to look for them again next Sunday.
After church we went over to our friends the DeBoer's for their annual Easter party. I met Anneke at the gym in one of my classes. We quickly became friends and she is such a sweet blessing to be around. Anneke is a bright and optomistic soul. She is always encouraging and uplifting. I am thankful for her friendship. Her husband is Willem, a perfect match to Anneke, and just as sweet and fun to be around. Their kids Little Willem and Anneleise have become quick friends to our kids. They play and play and play just like I remember doing as a kid. Anneke and Willem have such a beautiful and inviting home. They are the ultimate hosts....so giving and relaxing to be around. Their home is such a blessing and a fantastic set up for gathering family and friends. I met all of Anneke and Willem's family members. Everyone was just the sweetest. It was such a blessing to chat with such wonderfully kind and accepting people. The kids had a blast swimming and hunting Easter eggs. As usual, they didn't want to leave. I have a feeling that we will be relaxing around the pool again this summer quite a bit.
We came home and Shawn finished planting our new Redwood trees in the backyard. There are six of them. Beautiful. We also planted an orange tree. Shawn laid a stone walkway to the dog kennel on the side of the house and it looks fantastic. I planted some "sacrificial" flowers next to the walkway to see if Jax will destroy them. We have a long long way to go, but our backyard is finally looking more inviting. I'm so thankful that we have been able to at least do a little bit at a time on home improvements. My next task is painting inside...
I am enjoying gardening in my front yard. I have a flower bed that is finally filling in after two years of working on it. It is VERY beginner-ish, however, I am proud of it. I also recently planted a potted herb garden: two kinds of mint and basil, thyme, cilantro, and lavender. I'm super excited about using those herbs. I love to see things grow. It is a very beautiful and encouraging thing to me. Especially when plants flourish and then seem to die, and then come back again the next year. It makes me hopeful in times when I feel like I am not flourishing.....like I still have time left to come back and bloom again. Lately that's how I have been feeling; as if I am preparing to hopefully bloom again but I just need the water and nutrients to make it possible. I've just been having trouble with consistently soaking up those nutrients and believing that God will make something out of them. Thank goodness it's not all up to me. Thank you Lord for being in charge. Use me and make me bloom how you see fit. I know your plan is perfect, even though most often your plan is not my plan.
That's all for now.
Goodnight Moon.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Mother Teresa
"You and I, we are the Church, no? We have to share with our people. Suffering today is because people are hoarding, not giving, not sharing.
Jesus made it very clear. Whatever you do to the least of my brethren, you do it to me.
Give a glass of water, you give it to me. Receive a little
child, you receive me."
~Mother Teresa
If I could meet any person that has ever lived on this earth, it would be Mother Teresa. Just reading her words that she spoke moves and convicts my heart in a way that no other person ever has. Mother Teresa was a human, mortal just like me. She was not perfect. But reading about her sure seems like she was. I don't know many people in this world who even strive to live out their faith in the ways that Mother Teresa did. I know I don't. But God is not finished with me yet.
Words from Mother Teresa that have spoken to my heart <3
"If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one."
"Keep the joy of loving God in your heart and share this joy with all you meet especially your family. Be holy – let us pray."
"I once picked up a woman from a garbage dump and she was burning with fever; she was in her last days and her only lament was: ‘My son did this to me.’ I begged her: You must forgive your son. In a moment of madness, when he was not himself, he did a thing he regrets. Be a mother to him, forgive him. It took me a long time to make her say: ‘I forgive my son.’ Just before she died in my arms, she was able to say that with a real forgiveness. She was not concerned that she was dying. The breaking of the heart was that her son did not want her. This is something you and I can understand."
"When once a chairman of a multinational company came to see me, to offer me a property in Bombay, he first asked: ‘Mother, how do you manage your budget?" I asked him who had sent him here. He replied: ‘I felt an urge inside me.’ I said: other people like you come to see me and say the same. It was clear God sent you, Mr. A, as He sends Mr. X, Mrs. Y, Miss Z, and they provide the material means we need for our work. The grace of God is what moved you. You are my budget. God sees to our needs, as Jesus promised. I accepted the property he gave and named it Asha Dan (Gift of Hope).
"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin."
"Like Jesus we belong to the world living not for ourselves but for others. The joy of the Lord is our strength."
"There is only one God and He is God to all; therefore it is important that everyone is seen as equal before God. I’ve always said we should help a Hindu become a better Hindu, a Muslim become a better Muslim, a Catholic become a better Catholic. We believe our work should be our example to people. We have among us 475 souls - 30 families are Catholics and the rest are all Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs—all different religions. But they all come to our prayers."
"There are so many religions and each one has its different ways of following God. I follow Christ:
Jesus is my God,
Jesus is my Spouse,
Jesus is my Life,
Jesus is my only Love,
Jesus is my All in All;
Jesus is my Everything."
"Make us worthy, Lord, to serve those people throughout the world who live and die in poverty and hunger. Give them through our hands, this day, their daily bread, and by our understanding love, give them peace and joy.
I heard the call to give up all and follow Christ into the slums to serve Him among the poorest of the poor. It was an order.
I was to leave the convent and help the poor while living among them."
"When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her.
It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed."
"Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world."
"If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive."
Jesus made it very clear. Whatever you do to the least of my brethren, you do it to me.
Give a glass of water, you give it to me. Receive a little
child, you receive me."
~Mother Teresa
If I could meet any person that has ever lived on this earth, it would be Mother Teresa. Just reading her words that she spoke moves and convicts my heart in a way that no other person ever has. Mother Teresa was a human, mortal just like me. She was not perfect. But reading about her sure seems like she was. I don't know many people in this world who even strive to live out their faith in the ways that Mother Teresa did. I know I don't. But God is not finished with me yet.
Words from Mother Teresa that have spoken to my heart <3
"If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one."
"Keep the joy of loving God in your heart and share this joy with all you meet especially your family. Be holy – let us pray."
"I once picked up a woman from a garbage dump and she was burning with fever; she was in her last days and her only lament was: ‘My son did this to me.’ I begged her: You must forgive your son. In a moment of madness, when he was not himself, he did a thing he regrets. Be a mother to him, forgive him. It took me a long time to make her say: ‘I forgive my son.’ Just before she died in my arms, she was able to say that with a real forgiveness. She was not concerned that she was dying. The breaking of the heart was that her son did not want her. This is something you and I can understand."
"When once a chairman of a multinational company came to see me, to offer me a property in Bombay, he first asked: ‘Mother, how do you manage your budget?" I asked him who had sent him here. He replied: ‘I felt an urge inside me.’ I said: other people like you come to see me and say the same. It was clear God sent you, Mr. A, as He sends Mr. X, Mrs. Y, Miss Z, and they provide the material means we need for our work. The grace of God is what moved you. You are my budget. God sees to our needs, as Jesus promised. I accepted the property he gave and named it Asha Dan (Gift of Hope).
"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin."
"Like Jesus we belong to the world living not for ourselves but for others. The joy of the Lord is our strength."
"There is only one God and He is God to all; therefore it is important that everyone is seen as equal before God. I’ve always said we should help a Hindu become a better Hindu, a Muslim become a better Muslim, a Catholic become a better Catholic. We believe our work should be our example to people. We have among us 475 souls - 30 families are Catholics and the rest are all Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs—all different religions. But they all come to our prayers."
"There are so many religions and each one has its different ways of following God. I follow Christ:
Jesus is my God,
Jesus is my Spouse,
Jesus is my Life,
Jesus is my only Love,
Jesus is my All in All;
Jesus is my Everything."
"Make us worthy, Lord, to serve those people throughout the world who live and die in poverty and hunger. Give them through our hands, this day, their daily bread, and by our understanding love, give them peace and joy.
I heard the call to give up all and follow Christ into the slums to serve Him among the poorest of the poor. It was an order.
I was to leave the convent and help the poor while living among them."
"When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her.
It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed."
"Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world."
"If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive."
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Easter Picnic & four kids
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| Cardoza Family Easter 2011 |
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| MiMi, PaPa & Grandkids |
Today was nice. We celebrated Easter with my side of the family. All of us, my parents, my sis, Rusty, and Ashley (TJ had to work). It was simple and fun. We had a picnic at Woodward park. We also had a photo shoot, several egg hunts, made bird's nests from cupcakes, and played on the play structure. The kids all had a blast and that is so fun to watch. After we left the picnic, we headed back to Becca and TJ's and hung out for a few hours. We watched the movie "Tangled" and relaxed. Bec and I also looked at all of the cute pictures that she took today at the park. I love her new camera. It takes amazing photos and we enjoyed capturing the growing kid's and all of the fun they had.
Rusty is back to his normal cutie patootie self. He looked great. Healthy, happy, calm, and easy going. I enjoyed watching him play with my dad. Rusty laughed and laughed at Papa as he tried to feed Papa some of his animal crackers. Rusty loved Papa's pen (you that know him- Dad always has a pen in his shirt pocket). It reminded me of when Ty was a baby and playing with Papa. Baby Rusty reminds me of Baby Ty. I miss Baby Ty.
My niece Ashley is hilarious. She is absolutely adorable. I have had so many people say that she looks like she could be my daughter. I really love that. She has my beaver teeth smile from when I was little, my blondie hair, blue eyes, crazy toes, and bossy/independent attitude. I love her many expressions and phrases. She is like a little streak of sunshine running around trying to eat up every little bit of life she can grasp. I also love that she loves Ty. I think she has a little girl crush on him. She seems to idolize him. And he is very sweet to her and enjoys being the big cousin. Today she walked up to him and said, "I love you Ty". He got embarrassed. It was super cute. Instead of saying I love you too Ashley, he just said, "Thank you". Ty thinks girls are pretty yucky right now. In fact, he loves his Mommy's hugs and kisses.....but NOT in front of other people besides his family. Sigh. But deep down I know I am still his very favorite person. Lately whenever I tell him I love him, he likes to say, "I love you even more!"
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| Sister put this together for me |
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| MiMi is creative with her Easter Egg surprises |
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| Bird's nest cupcakes |
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| My little boy is growing up sooooo fast! |
Boy is Miss Sheratyn growing up. She wore one of my tank tops today. It's fun, but scary that she is getting to the age that we can share! She will be 12 on Tuesday. She is such a fun and sweet girl. She is a breathtaking mix of beautiful and adorable, goofy, giving, fair, silly, fun, and very much my little sidekick lately. I love it. She cannot wait until Tuesday because she will finally be old enough to have a gym membership and come to the gym with me. This year for the kid's birthdays they got to have one friend over for birthday dinner and cake. Sheratyn said that she would rather go to the gym with me to my boxing class that night instead. That made my heart swell. She is so excited. She probably doesn't realize that I am even more excited that she is, simply knowing that she wants to spend this time with me.
Daphnee is such a little Mommy-girl to her cousins. I love how she likes to take care of them. Today she immediately went to Ashley to take her to play on the playground. She is attentive and sweet. She is a darling girl. Delicate, but competitive and firey. I love that. She is super sensitive. I can relate to her in a lot of ways because I too can be very sensitive. I like that we have that connection. Being a blended family has been such a blessing, but is not without challenges. Daphnee has indeed struggled the most with confused emotions. Even though having a step=mother hasn't always been easy for her, the heart-to-heart conversations that we have had and the understanding that I feel for her is priceless. Through the challenges, her and I have been able to connect in ways that have been very beneficial for her, and for me. God is in this relationship, molding it into something beautiful.
Fiesty little Sheedyn. This girl makes me laugh and act goofy along with her. She is so intelligent, witty, stubborn, and strong. She reminds me of a little pixie fairy. She and Ty together just make my heart so full. They are adorable. They are the best of buddies. They don't let a whole lot of people in on that secret. It's almost like they have an understanding. But at home....it's precious. I pray that their sibling relationship will continue to be so special to them both throughout the rest of their lives. Sheedyn is dependable, consistent, and so helpful. She has a style of personality that is uniquely her. I love it.
I love these children. I thank God for allowing me to care for them daily. All the driving to and from school, the HOMEWORK HEADACHE's, the fighting about everything that siblings fight about, all the tiring stuff.....is all that I will miss in a few short years. I am cherishing this time. I believe that God has allowed me the time, responsibility, and blessing of shepherding these children and their fragile hearts. Only with Him can I hold them well. On my own, I constantly fail. Thank you Jesus for picking me up and holding my hand every step of the way.
I'm getting sleepy. Just a few comments about Jax: Oh how I love that he is so content just sitting with me. He is such a sweetie. The last two nights he cried/howled all night long (no joke). But tonight, so far (fingers crossed), he is quiet. We tried having him outside in his big crate for nighttime. Not good. He wants to be close to his "pack". About an hour and a half ago I moved him into a smaller crate into our room and he has been locked inside fast asleep ever since. Not a peep. So far. We'll see how the night goes on.
Shutting off for now. I promised a sweet girl I would go lay by her for awhile <3
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Tippy Toes & Jax
So, as I tip toe into this blog world, I feel the need to ease myself in as quietly as possible. There are, oh, about a hundred things that I would like to share right now. Topics from love, life, intentions, mean and insecure people, acceptance, empathy, my fears, my blessings, lessons learned, and struggles I am having RIGHT NOW.....but non of those seem "quiet", so I think that I will start with something easy and simple and non-threatening.
JAX
Jax is my new puppy. He comes home this Thursday (He will be 7 weeks old). I picked him out when he was four days old. He is a darling black and white Siberian Husky. My friend Vickie owns his Mommy & Daddy. When I found out she had another litter of puppies, I immediately wanted one. However, I told myself NO WAY!! I don't want the responsibility of having another dog (we have two itty bitty Chihuahuas- they are Shawn's....) AND I do not like animal hair all over me! But then, Shawn called me that very next day from work and told me to go to VIckie's and pick out my early Mother's Day present.....a puppy. He knows I like Siberian Huskies and have wanted one. At first I said no, then he told me "It will be our Cardoza Baby....and I want you to have another running partner". I grew up with two wonderful running sidekicks. First Caleb, a Black Lab/Queensland mix and then Marine, a Black Lab/Shepard mix that I found when I was actually out on a run. I enjoyed them so much. They were the greatest; my companion, comfort, protector, and quiet encourager. I have missed not having my running dog. Siberian Huskies LOVE to run. They are sled dogs by nature and they NEED to run. So we have a lot in common. I am excited to have Jax as my companion. I am excited to train him and take care of him. I am motherly by nature and the thought of being able to mother a new baby (even if it is just a puppy) is exciting to me.
The kids are of course thrilled to have a new puppy coming home. All four kids love animals. Jax will be smothered with love and no doubt quickly become a part of our family. We are ready and prepared for him. The kids all have specific jobs in taking care of our animals...and are excited to take care of Jax and help to train him also. Mimi and Papa are also excited to have a GrandPup. For those of you that know my family well, you know that my parents are the ultimate animal lovers. They even gave baby Jax a new kennel bed and a huge new comfy doggy bed. This baby boy is already spoiled.
I am realistic about puppies. Jax will drive me crazy at times and take lots of training. But I am ready and willing. I do not go into any situation without first assessing the risks and weighing the consequences. We are ready. And excited to love baby Jax.
JAX
Jax is my new puppy. He comes home this Thursday (He will be 7 weeks old). I picked him out when he was four days old. He is a darling black and white Siberian Husky. My friend Vickie owns his Mommy & Daddy. When I found out she had another litter of puppies, I immediately wanted one. However, I told myself NO WAY!! I don't want the responsibility of having another dog (we have two itty bitty Chihuahuas- they are Shawn's....) AND I do not like animal hair all over me! But then, Shawn called me that very next day from work and told me to go to VIckie's and pick out my early Mother's Day present.....a puppy. He knows I like Siberian Huskies and have wanted one. At first I said no, then he told me "It will be our Cardoza Baby....and I want you to have another running partner". I grew up with two wonderful running sidekicks. First Caleb, a Black Lab/Queensland mix and then Marine, a Black Lab/Shepard mix that I found when I was actually out on a run. I enjoyed them so much. They were the greatest; my companion, comfort, protector, and quiet encourager. I have missed not having my running dog. Siberian Huskies LOVE to run. They are sled dogs by nature and they NEED to run. So we have a lot in common. I am excited to have Jax as my companion. I am excited to train him and take care of him. I am motherly by nature and the thought of being able to mother a new baby (even if it is just a puppy) is exciting to me.
The kids are of course thrilled to have a new puppy coming home. All four kids love animals. Jax will be smothered with love and no doubt quickly become a part of our family. We are ready and prepared for him. The kids all have specific jobs in taking care of our animals...and are excited to take care of Jax and help to train him also. Mimi and Papa are also excited to have a GrandPup. For those of you that know my family well, you know that my parents are the ultimate animal lovers. They even gave baby Jax a new kennel bed and a huge new comfy doggy bed. This baby boy is already spoiled.
I am realistic about puppies. Jax will drive me crazy at times and take lots of training. But I am ready and willing. I do not go into any situation without first assessing the risks and weighing the consequences. We are ready. And excited to love baby Jax.
Monday, April 11, 2011
To blog or not to blog....
So I told Shawn just the other day that I would never have a blog. Blogging intimidates me. I don't really think I will be that good at it. I worry that I will tick someone off by something that I post. I am one that wears my heart on my sleeve (hence my blog name).....so blogging feels a little risky and scary to me.
Today I received a message from a sweet sweet high school friend named Carla. She basically told me that I should blog! She explained what a wonderful creative release it is for her and that made sense to me. I need that. I have so much thought, emotion, and passion that wants to explode out of my heart most of the time.....so perhaps a blog may be just the avenue to express all of that "stuff".
Once my mind passed the point of "if" I decided to blog, to "how" will I blog.....I started my worrying about upsetting other people by what I say. Then I thought to myself, "Nobody HAS to read my blog! This is for ME, not THEM....right?!?!" But that is not completely accurate. I DO believe that I have things of value to share with others, and those things may be posted on my blog....however, it will be THEIR choice to read my blog. I am comfortable with that.
I am plain. I am simple. I am not fancy, but I can be complicated. I suppose that my blog will be similar to my personality. I have always enjoyed putting words together. I am thinking that this blog may be somewhat therapeutical for my active heart/mind that rarely quiets down. So consider this a fair warning. A disclaimer. You may find my blog interesting, boring, silly, emotional, debatable, convicting, depressing, or encouraging. But ultimately, this blog is just for me to vent, organize, sort, and express what is going on in my heart. Nothing more, nothing less. I have no hidden agendas.
Today I received a message from a sweet sweet high school friend named Carla. She basically told me that I should blog! She explained what a wonderful creative release it is for her and that made sense to me. I need that. I have so much thought, emotion, and passion that wants to explode out of my heart most of the time.....so perhaps a blog may be just the avenue to express all of that "stuff".
Once my mind passed the point of "if" I decided to blog, to "how" will I blog.....I started my worrying about upsetting other people by what I say. Then I thought to myself, "Nobody HAS to read my blog! This is for ME, not THEM....right?!?!" But that is not completely accurate. I DO believe that I have things of value to share with others, and those things may be posted on my blog....however, it will be THEIR choice to read my blog. I am comfortable with that.
I am plain. I am simple. I am not fancy, but I can be complicated. I suppose that my blog will be similar to my personality. I have always enjoyed putting words together. I am thinking that this blog may be somewhat therapeutical for my active heart/mind that rarely quiets down. So consider this a fair warning. A disclaimer. You may find my blog interesting, boring, silly, emotional, debatable, convicting, depressing, or encouraging. But ultimately, this blog is just for me to vent, organize, sort, and express what is going on in my heart. Nothing more, nothing less. I have no hidden agendas.
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